Saturday, 28 May 2011

sad Brownie

Other Brownie leaders, some advice? One of our new Brownies is struggling, she has been dreading Brownies all week according to her mum and was in tears just before the meeting.

When she is at the meeting, she seems to enjoy it. But away from us, she works herself into a state.

Specifics: she found the two Guides working with her on Becoming a Brownie were intimidating and upsetting. It was the first time the two Guides had worked with the new girls rather than our two Young Leaders so I had made sure I was with them for much of the time and I actually felt they were doing really well. This particular Brownie has a big sister that was in the same class as the two Guides up until July this year and is still in the same class at secondary as one of the two Guides so she knows them quite well, so I was really surprised.

I took note of what mum said and I worked with the new girls myself this Thursday instead, but if she's still finding it all intimidating I am not sure what to do next. She knows her promise, she's gone off to practice lending a hand, I've made sure her buddy is a girl she really likes, she seems to be embracing it all, but I am worried she will get upset again.

I don't want to lose this Brownie, her sister tried us and another Brownie pack five years ago and chose the other Brownie pack, which was of course her choice, but I kind of feel like if I can't get it right for this girl, I'm doing something wrong because then both sisters wouldn't have joined us.

Anything I can do? Other than hope?

5 comments:

Kelloggsville said...

There will be more to it than brownies. You've had 100s of happy brownies, occasionally you'll have 'one if those'. My first thought was perhaps the Guides and older sister have a 'history' or recent fallout. perhaps older sister has wound her up about it already. Perhaps she is scared of the untrues she's been told or has imagined but actually enjoys the reality. I recommend ditching the becoming a brownie work (now she's done some anyway) integrate her fully into the normal nights and plan a super duper enrolment to make sure she really wants to be part of it. And if she doesn't stay with you then just let it go, not all girls like brownies and not all of them like the same owls. If she transfers to another pack you still win because you endeared her to guiding even if not to you x

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I agree with the comment above, there's more to it than just Brownies. I think you're doing all that you can to help her feel more comfortable; if it doesn't work out, it won't be because you didn't try.

Caz-Owl said...

I agree with both comments above. I too wondered whether there is perhaps some issue between the Guides and the older sister which is impacting on this. Sounds like you're doing everything right, so I'd just stick with it and see how it goes. If she decides not to stay then I guess you can't win them all! By the sounds of it you've got lots of happy Brownies, so if it's not for her, then it certainly wouldn't be a reflection on you or your pack. With regards to advice, I'd maybe get your sixes involved in some team-building/getting-to-know-each-other type activities to encourage her to build stronger friendships with the others - might help her feel more settled? Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I am, as you know, not a Brownie leader but also agree with all above. I think there is "history". It may be with the Guides and her sister, it may be things that have been said about why her sister chose the other pack, even unintentionally. (You must be doing something right otherwise why did mum not stick with sisters pack ;-)

At school, children who show similar feelings are often given a special job to do when they first arrive and can choose a friend to help them. That gives them something to look forward to, a reason to go and the reassurance they will not be alone because they get to pick the partner. Is there something you could give her to do....it need not be long term because it could transfer to another new Brownie in your next intake.

If she chooses to leave, then that is her choice and although you will feel sad, try not to take it personally because everyone else is happy and if there were a problem you would have lost more than one Brownie, would you not?

Jx

TopChamp said...

Clever Kelloggs... nothing to add.

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